I did not survive

He took everything including my being a mother. I didn’t recognise his violence until our daughter began to show signs of illness. I’d never known any different, my family of origin were abusive. My husband controlled everything. I didn’t care about my body, it had never been mine anyway. If I cooperated it would be over quicker but that wasn’t enough he wanted control of my mind too. I never knew what was real he gaslit me over everything. I had a breakdown & became homeless but I was pregnant. After the birth with nowhere to go I went back to him. I did eventually run away with our child but he found me. He forced me to become pregnant then accused me of cheating. I miscarried repeatedly.

When he met someone else & they had his child he left me. Then he began his revenge for my robbing him of his children. He coached our only child rewarding them for disobeying me. One day he didn’t bring our child back. Instead he took them to a solicitor to make a statement accusing me of abuse. He tried to obtain medical evidence but failed. This didn’t stop him & he applied for full custody. The day I was served papers & I realised his plan, my life changed forever. His aim was to completely erase me from our child's life. Despite everything I’d experienced I never imagined being a mother could be taken away too. He & his partner persuaded people I was evil, mentally ill, too sick & too unfit to be a mother. He abused our child when they wanted to come back home, threatening & manipulating them the way he had me only escaping as an adult. He has never stopped pursuing his revenge & even though he was not legally successful he destroyed the idea that no matter what happened I am a mother. Our child is an adult now but he continues to try & destroy me. He doesn’t realise he already succeeded.