Guidelines and Tips
Steps
In order to submit a reflection, you need to firstly register via our “Write Your Reflection” page. You will need a valid email address in order to do this. We recommend that you use a safe email address (one that a perpetrator or person you are afraid of does not have access to). You can set up a new free email account if you are unsure (See our “Online Safety” section for more information).
Please read the following guidelines and tips about writing your reflection.
Rules
All reflections will be reviewed by the administrators prior to uploading onto the website. We do not make a judgement about story quality, or edit for spelling/grammar, however, stories that are abusive, inappropriate or irrelevant, or contain marketing/advertising materials will not be approved.
Please note that this is a website for women victims/survivors to share experiences with each other. We recognise that men can also be victims of domestic violence, however, at this stage we will not be accepting submissions from male victims. Men are welcome to read the reflections contained in the database. The Safer Families Centre is currently working on developing a site specifically for men to share stories on overcoming negative behaviours and use of violence. We also recommend men visit our Better Man site, a fully confidential site to assist men to identify areas of help needed with their intimate relationships to take positive action.
Although we recognise that all experiences of abuse are valid and traumatic, we are trying to create a space for women with similar experiences to share their reflections As a result, we are only accepting submissions that are about abuse by an intimate partner (e.g. husband, male or female partner, boyfriend, girlfriend).
Please do not use your real name or the names of any other people (e.g. partner, children).
Please do not include identifying information in your reflection (e.g. address, suburb, name of school).
From time to time we may allow reflections or excerpts to be reused by other organisations or researchers who wish to use the voices of women victims/survivors to raise awareness about domestic violence. As the reflections are anonymous, we cannot contact you to ask your permission individually, but the reflections will be credited to the Not The Only One website.
Please note that we cannot prevent any unauthorised use of your reflections by other parties, although we hope this does not occur.
Tips
Although we encourage you to share your real experiences on this site, feel free to change some details to disguise your identity (e.g. you may state that you have a daughter instead of a son, or that you have a cat instead of a dog).
Please choose a title for your reflections. Remember that the title is what will make other women want to read what you have written, so try to make it something interesting and descriptive if you can!
The maximum word limit per story is approximately 800 words.
You may submit multiple stories if you wish.
You may write your story in any way you like – poetry, narrative, or something more unusual!
Keep in mind the message that you would like to convey to other women experiencing, or who have experienced domestic violence – what is the key message you want them to take away from reading your story?
Think carefully before linking your own reflection to Facebook, Twitter, or other social media. Others are free to post your stories on social media, given your anonymity will remain.
Lastly, remember to practice self-care. Take time out if you feel upset or distressed. We recommend you draft your reflection, you can save your story and come back to it later if you need a break. There is a list of helpful links to services who can help you further Click Here.